Where to travel when you’ve had a recent break up and want to have sex (or if it has just been a while since you’ve had sex and you feel like you need it)……
Sure, sex is freely available in most westernised countries. But whether you want to have a multitude of one night stands or if you just want to go on a holiday where you are guaranteed to have sex just once, then Bali, Indonesia or Phuket, Thailand are your best bet.
A lot of people roll there eyes when Bali is mentioned. It has a reputation of a large concentrated gathering of bogan Australians, in their singlets, board shorts and southern cross tattoos, drinking themselves stupid and acting like..well…bogans.
And in Kuta this is somewhat true. It is the Gold Coast at Schoolies on steroids. But lets take a step back and take a look at the big picture. Bali is a big island, and Kuta is a very very small part of that island. Bali as a whole is spectacular! There are no other words for it. Whether you are looking for the calm beauty of endless rice patty fields in Ubud, or the crystal blue waters of Uluwatu, the huge Mount Batur over looking the land in Kintamani, palm trees, tropical heat, temples, inexpensive resorts, $1 beers. The place is amazing. Bali also seems to attract some really beautiful, free spirited, free loving people. The ex pats I met in Bali were all wealthy well to do folk, who used Bali as there base for all of the reasons I have just described. It is beautiful, cheap, livable and free spirited.
So what about the sex you’re asking. Well, you can probably find that everywhere on the island. There are enough of these free spirited, free loving ex pats all over Bali who after a cocktail or 2, will probably be in the mood for sex.
Depending on how desperate you are or how high/low you want your standards to be, Kuta and its night life is a guaranteed venue for you to find sex. When you first walk in to to back street bar of Alley Cats, you are greeted with so many people of the opposite sex checking you out. People are under dressed for Australia pub standards, wearing crop tops and bikinis, the above mentioned board shorts and singlets, mini skirts and mini shorts and thongs. Here eye contact is held for longer than it should be. In fact, in Alley Cats, a lingering eye contact is all that is required to have sex. And the people that frequent here are not all ugly. They are in Kuta (and Alley Cats) for the same reason you are. To get a cheap refreshing drink, to meet people and to find easy sex. If that is not your style, then move to the main strip on Jalan Legian Road to night club Eikon or Sky Garden. Slightly a step up from Alley Cats and it doesn’t really kick off till after midnight. But once you’ve had a relaxing day in the sun, feeling good about yourself from all the people checking you out in Alley Cats, then Eikon and Sky Garden are the places to be. The abundant amount of world wide travelers in Kuta is refreshing and everyone is keen to chat. There are no snobs, no harsh rejections and no judgments. Just free spirited people up for hooking up.
If this all sounds a little to cheap and nasty for you, then don’t worry. As I have mentioned above, Bali is full of free spirited travelers. Staying close to Kuta, you can venture to Seminyak’s Potato Head or Uluwatu’s Single Fin. These places, although a short drive from Kuta, are bogan free and seem to attract the attractive, well to do folk. People don’t tend to get as messy as they do in Kuta, but everyone has a smile on their face and a beautiful bronze glow.
The Gili Islands (a 2hr drive and a 2hr ferry from Kuta) is another, more upper class, pick up venue. Days are full of snorkeling, sun baking and music on the beach, while nights are full of smoking shisha, magic mushroom potions and Bintang Beers. There is a smaller less crowded, less hectic night life in Gili T, but still the same free loving spirit, and people willing to put out.
Phuket Thailand is a bit like Bali. But the crowd is different. While Bali is very free spirited, Phuket is more fast paced. Once again we have the stable Australian bogans filling the streets, but there doesn’t seem to be as many 18yr olds in Phuket. Bangla Road is the place to be to pick up. One long street lined with night club after bar after night club. It doesn’t matter which one you pick as they are much of the same. Once again, cheap cocktails seem to be the trick. All the travelers hanging out on Bangla Road are friendly and easy to talk to.
Just to finish off (excuse the pun), if you are planning to travel to Bali or Phuket Soul-O (or with friends) and wanting to have a night of passion than please remember these things.
1. BE SMART! BE SAFE! Don’t get so wasted that you don’t know who you are going home with or where. Drink in moderation so you can still have your wits about you.
2. The public areas are pretty safe in both Kuta and Bangla Rd, but the back streets may not be. DO NOT go walking alone in back streets. Get a cab or a tuk tuk. They are cheap enough and your life is worth it.
3. Don’t go home with someone who is staying in a back packers or a hotel that is less than $30/night. You want this night of passion to be a good experience. Not rat infested, thin mattress and no air con hotel hell hole.
4. You yourself should try booking something more than $30/night. This means that you don’t have to be embarrassed bringing someone back to your place.
5. Although this is a one night stand-try having a conversation with the person be for you go home with them. If something is making you uneasy about them THEN DON’T GO HOME WITH THEM!!
6. Wear a condom. It is a free loving place and lots of people are having sex with lots of people. And you don’t want to ruin your holiday with an STD.
7. Take a phone for emergencies. It might be expensive, but it might save your life.
This blog post is a part of a series called “Where a flying Soul-o-er should go when……..” Other posts in this series can be found below
Still to come…
4. Where a flying Soul-O-Sista (or Mister) should go when…..They want to find Happiness
5. Where a flying Soul-O-Sista (or Mister) should go when…..They want a Working Holiday
6. Where a flying Soul-O-Sista (or Mister) should go when…..They want to Give Back
7. Where a flying Soul-O-Sista (or Mister) should go when…..They have never traveled before
8. Where a flying Soul-O-Sista (or Mister) should go when…..They want Extreme Adventure