I really want a baby. But…….

I wrote an article a few months ago that stated my longing to have a child of my own (read that here). But recently a good friend of mine had a beautiful little baby girl who is currently the sunshine of her life (and ours), and this friend has been THE ONLY PERSON TO BE HONEST WITH ME ABOUT THE HORRORS OF HAVE A BABY. Sure you hear about the endless sleepless nights, pooy nappies, things exploding out of backsides, milk spew’s, crying, crying and more crying. But all these seemed insignificant, as the happiness of bringing a baby into your world, cancelled all that stuff out.

But then she told me about the nappies. No, not the cute little nappies that your precious new born is wearing. The adult nappies, the ones the mother of the baby has to wear for a non specified amount of time. WHAT!!!!!!! Yes, the nappies mummies have to wear. I have never heard of this before. I am 34yrs old and have a collection of over 30 babies that have been born into my group of friends and family. And NO ONE has ever mentioned the compulsory adult nappies for mummies.

So Soul-o-ers who don’t know about mummy nappies, it goes like this… After giving birth, your womb continues to discharge a multitude gross shit (I’m not even sure what to call it) from your vagina, FOR UP TO 6 WEEKS! Yep, 6 weeks. To capture this discharge from your vagina, you are required to wear an adult mummy’s nappy, which looks like a HUGE, over sized sanitary pad. For 6 weeks! Along with this, you are generally prescribed some hard core pain killers which make you extremely constipated, meaning that every 3-4 days you are having to ‘give birth’ all over again, except this time to your own faeces.

And then there is the bleeding nipples. You read it correctly, bleeding nipples!! WTF!!! I remember hearing this a while ago, but figured the girl who told me was sleep deprived delusional. But apparently not. In those first few weeks after giving birth, not only do you have free flowing discharge from your vagina, and no discharge from your bowels, but you also have blood coming of your nipples. I heard one girl say that her baby was getting more mouthfuls of blood than actual milk. How is this possible??!?!

Not yet sold on how bad early motherhood is….yesterday my sister who has just given birth to my niece, not only has explosions coming from a rear end, but projectile, aim and shoot, kind of explosions coming from of her rear end. It traveled a metre across the room…..yes a metre.

None of this is appealing at all. AT ALL!!

Is it really all worth it in the end?

Well, as it turns out, most women are still getting pregnant and most women are still having more than one child. So apparently it is. One smile from your gorgeous bundle of joy and you forget all about the mummy nappies, the next faeces you have to give birth to, blood oozing from your nipples and the cleanup of sprayed, rear ended explosions that are all over your walls.


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